Mothers - Are you the loneliest Exec?

Ray Garner

It’s lonely at the top – so CEO’s, and those who write about them, will tell you. The wise CEO will often turn to an external ‘Executive Coach’ to help them review their visions and aspirations in a ‘safe environment’.

But, there is one type of CEO that rarely gets the recognition, nor support, that they deserve. They wear more hats than most other execs – they are leaders, motivators, financial controllers, human resource managers, trainers and developers and, often, counsellors. In addition, they may be interior designers, chefs and accountants; and any number of other, unspecified jobs. They are, of course, wives, home-builders and household managers. In UAE, they may also be a long way from home and the support networks they grew up with. Yet, they are the heart of the family and the leadership challenges they face, whilst presenting a smiling face to the world, are evidently similar to the challenges faced by the business exec. If on a smaller scale, within the family, then all the more intimate and intense than within the corporate setting.

It occurs to me, as an ‘executive coach’, that so called ‘life’, or ‘personal’, coaching is really indivisible from any other branch of our profession and deserves the same respect and kudos.
In this environment differences become concerns, concerns become problems. Who do you turn to, it can be a close friend of a group of ladies who you meet for coffee or exercise with. In this environment there is likely to be a transient group and may not bring with it the non-judgemental confidentiality necessary. This is the place for coaching.

What is a coach?

A coach is not an adviser, a therapist or a counsellor. A coach should practice by asking the key questions, giving you space to think, providing opportunity to identify ways to move forward and commit to action.

This approach isn’t laden with others view of ‘right’ but provides a non-judgemental space and time.

To the potential client, I would borrow the beauty-product strap-line – “Because you’re worth it!”

Know yourself, know your client

In order to operate professionally and within the ethical boundaries of coaching,I believe we have an obligation to our clients to undertake periods of sustained self-reflection. My personal mantra that has supported my continued development and ability to self-reflect objectively on my performance,and that of my clients, is ‘know yourself, know your client’.

When we make the decision to bring about a change involving the development of new knowledge and skills to move forwards, it is my belief that we must first be aware of the behavioural default settings from which we operate as a norm. To enable this process of self-reflection to have a purpose we must understand the values, beliefs and attitudes that we hold and that are the foundation on which we base our decisions. Understanding ourselves, and the standpoint from which we operate, we are able to communicate effectively and develop relationships based on mutuality of purpose and outcome.Similarly, through reflection you are better equipped to foresee situations when assumptions and judgements might hi-jack your session, when emotions might supersede the facilitation of a clients thoughts, learning and progression and when ego states might limit relationships. Linked to this is fully understanding the role and responsibilities we take on within our professional and personal lives; an appreciation of how our personal culture has impacted on us emotionally and spiritually, and the persona that we choose to show people in public.

Once self-aware, you become better equipped with the skills and tools to support your client through their journey of understanding and how their values, beliefs and attitudes might impact on their relationships and decisions that they make.

Charlotte Randall

New Year Blog: Perfect time for coaching.

A new year brings with it thoughts of change, focus and commitment. Commit to doing that something – that something could be change job, lose weight, learn a language; complete that qualification!

Whatever it is, it shows that without commitment it wouldn’t have been achieved. History shows us people need help to move from transient solutions to achieve the holy grail of sustainable solutions.

As coaches we work with clients to achieve sustainability – it’s what we do. The first week of 2015 is a great opportunity to show the power of coaching, help people make their resolutions sustainable.

Remember:

1)People need help to identify change and to make change.

2)Weather isn’t an excuse – for me this is a metaphor. Clients who don’t commit to their actions    will not achieve. A coach should commit in their sessions.

3)Be prepared for the year ahead, life will throw up demands and challenges, some of which will be in your clients control. To achieve sustainability you will need to be flexible.

4)Don’t be blown off course. 2015 will offer many distractions especially with a general election.

5)Reward yourself, give yourself a treat for maintaining your focus and achieving SUSTAINABILITY.


Judith Barton