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| Charlotte Randall |
How many of us grew up under the premise
that we could be anything we wanted to be, if we just applied ourselves hard
enough? I certainly have recollections of my mother regularly imparting this message
on me, mostly when I was refuting doing my homework. A mother now myself, I have
had to work hard to manage the aspirations and expectations of my children
within the realms of reality. Keeping their dreams for the future alive is a
constant challenge and I can certainly understand how easy it is to revert to
‘you can be anything you want to be’ when they look at you with such hope in
their faces. My daughter, at the tender age of 13, has recently had to form an
opinion on her career path that will shape her impending subject choices.
Whilst my son believes that we are thwarting his chances of being a Formula One
driver because we are refusing to sell our house to fund this. Both may succeed
in the paths they wish to travel down (although, I can categorically say we are
not selling our house), but the indicators in their behaviour points heavily
towards this being a goal not firmly underpinned by their evolving strengths,
but one based upon an impending time constraint, current trends in media
advertising and extrinsic motivators (money, reward, title, benefits).
In order to support their thinking my
current conversations with them do not focus on something that they may or may
not be in 10 years’ time, but more poignantly, what it is they have done
recently that excited them, that they have really cared about doing or
achieving. I ask questions that will fix the moment to a feeling and provoke
thinking in a forward’s direction. For example, one of them recently came home very
excited that they would be moving up to top set PE. I asked the question - what
do you think your teacher saw in you to move you up? The response ‘I always
work hard and show good sportsmanship’. I followed this with curiosity by
asking the question - what does good sportsmanship look like? ‘I work as a team
member and when someone on my team has done something good I let him or her
know’. How does it make you feel that your teacher is pleased with your
performance? ‘I feel proud and happy’. I wanted to then challenge the thinking
by asking - what have you learnt about yourself because of this? ‘I always
wanted to move up into top set and now I have because I worked hard so my
teacher would notice me. Anything else? ‘I work as part of a team’. Anything
else? ‘I encourage others to do well’. Anything else? ‘It makes me feel good
when I support my team mates’. Moving
forwards I then ask - how can you feel like this more often? ‘I could keep
helping out my mates and working hard.’ Where else could you use these skills?
‘Maybe at breaks or in a different subject’. What would that look like? As you
can see themes of strengths start to develop from this platform of enquiry
based and solutions focused questioning, becoming even more powerful when you
revisit the topic a few weeks later to continue to support and embed the
transference of skills. By scaffolding the conversation they are becoming more self-aware
of whether they will get the best from themselves, the influence this will have
on others and how these strengths can be transferred within and between
situations making their future choices more informed.
Similarly, within my professional capacity I
have also had interactions with colleagues where career decisions are based
upon extrinsic or company led factors. As a result, personal fulfillment and
achievement has not been attained because of consistent failure to work from
and within identified personal strengths. Entering a profession or taking on
promotion that has not been supported by a transition conversation, based on
strength finding and transference questions, can be a costly exercise for all
involved. Out of this circumstance a shift in focus can be created that relies
on operating persistently within the realms of personal limitations and can eventually
become a barrier to success. An expectation gap between the individual and
organisation establishes itself and is played out through increased negative
behaviours and relationships, a decrease in productivity and stifled creativity.
So, how can we work towards making the right choices and increasing the
gratification and achievements we get out of our professional lives? As with my
children, it starts with a conversation that sets in motion a thought process
around identifying or re-engaging with what it is we are good at, what we need
to do more of. The language may change in its complexity, but the essence of
the conversation remains the same. Take a moment to ask yourself the following
questions. Then, reflect upon your answers to inform your thinking and increase
self-awareness of when you are operating at your optimum.
- What have I done or achieved that excites and motivates me? What am I good at?
- What is my performance output like when operating within my strengths zone?
- How does operating within this area make me feel?
- How often do I operate within this capacity? How can I function here more?
- How will working here help me to aspire towards my future goals?
- How can I transfer these skills into different areas of my life?
- How much bigger is my sphere of influence as a result of operating in this zone?
- How often do I revisit my strengths to re-energise and move forwards?
- What do I not yet know I am good at? How can I find this out?
Of course in life circumstance and
opportunity also play a role, but once you can align a situation with your
strengths you have the baseline from which to move forwards, to make informed
and potentially positive and life-changing decisions that exhibit more chance
of sustainable output. There will always be occasions and situations in life
that play to our limitations, but these are much easier to face head-on if we
can identify and engage with our strength zone the majority of the time.
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